Monday, March 12, 2007

Why I'm not going to post about pantyhose

I did think about it, and felt I should do it because I kind of sort of promised at the end of the last post, but you all don't need to know that, do you?

You don't need to know that I'm 5'7" and I weigh... I dunno... about 125 or 130 pounds or so? Which puts me right on that marginal place between one pantyhose size and the next one up.

(Which brings up the point that I think clothes manufacturers, at least those for the southerly areas of the body, go by area covered more than anything. So with my shape I have a choice between either fall-off-the-hips too big around, but long enough to cover my socks, or just fine around the waist, but flashing my knees to the world every time I sit down. I am particularly irritated that my super-cheap Costco flannel comfy pants leave my ankles to the cool breezes! Stupid clothing manufacturers...)

.... so anyway, the point is you don't really need to know that I am chronically torn between two imagined pantyhose extremes. In one, I buy the smaller size and have that horrible feeling that they'll shoot off towards my feet with a "twang!!!!" right in the middle of an important meeting. In the other, I end up with the larger size, hoisting the waistband up to my armpits in a vain attempt to avoid elephant wrinkles around my knees and ankles. Neither has ever happened, but they could, and dithering between two equally dreadful outcomes makes pantyhose buying a dreadful ordeal.

Aren't you glad I spared you?


child 2 said...

that is one good reason to be SHORT and skinny. you have so many more options! me being 5'3'' and 110 pounds, hah!

For Kirk said...

Short schmort. And I'll have you know that out of desperation I went to the no-one-else-wants-it knock down store to look for one pair of jeans - just one - that would cover my socks and cost less than $15. Tried on seven. No dice. Gosh, I LOVE shopping!

Child 1 said...

guess who ruined all the panty hose in the house? **chouchild2gh**!!