Thursday, October 26, 2006

The Jiggy Factor

Kirk brought a friend home from work - a young single guy who had become a close friend. So we invited him for dinner one night.

He was an extremely bright guy, very charming, very confident. While we did last minute stuff in the kitchen and set up the dining room he outlined for me a theory of his - the Jiggy Theory.

Everyone has a jiggy factor he said seriously. In fact (he produced pen and paper) it can be charted, because if you plot it over time it forms a jiggy curve. There is one curve for women (draws in curve), and another for men (opposite curve). As I recall, jigginess was a complicated function involving age, intelligence, physical attractiveness, and material wealth. The important thing for real success in a relationship apparently, was to make sure your jiggy curve intersected with your partner's. The trouble is everyone is looking for a higher jiggy factor than their own place on the curve actually merits.

I looked at him firmly and pointed out that the female jiggy curve had a distinctly depressing downward slope to it, while the male curve went up and up. And where, I asked would he place me on said curve?

At that moment the fresh shrimp came out of the steamer, the homebaked bread was sitting, warm and fragrant, waiting to be sliced, and a large corn and bean salad was placed on the table. He looked at these things, then looked back at me and plotted a large black dot very firmly quite high on the jiggy curve.

Very wise, C, I said, and passed his plate.

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