3 Years

Three years today.

Someone called me last year to offer their condolences, to tell me they were thinking of us. And I told them that I don't pay a lot of attention to anniversaries and things. I miss him today, but I missed him yesterday. It was hard today, but it will be hard tomorrow.

So today it's three years, and tomorrow it will be three years and a day... and the day after...

And while that's true, today was a sad day, a hard day. Partly because for no real reason several things needed to get done - Social Security still isn't resolved; there's a claim we filed ages ago with the labor department which will probably never come to anything but which needs to be pursued anyway - so the bureaucratic tedium of the situation was all over today. Very tiring, very wearing, very... well, very sad. Particularly as after getting everything organized and getting ready to call and write and do what I had to do (because it takes a bit of mental courage each time. Shouldn't this be getting easier?) I realized it's Columbus day and nothing is open. Just like three years ago.

Three years ago I was trying to contact representatives, senators, anyone at all. I called all morning, frantic, and didn't realize for hours that no one was going to answer because all the offices were closed.

So yes, today is hard. Sometimes the difficulties of things feel particularly heavy, and today is one of those days.

Maybe tomorrow will be better.