Back Away From the Keyboard, My Kids Are Fine

There will be a fair number of kid stories on this blog. I have kids. I'll tell stories. It's just the way it's going to be.

So before anyone gets hot and bothered over the parenting choices that will be revealed, I think it's important to state that the kids are fine, healthy, happy, intelligent (combined gpa? A sweet 4.0 thanks so very much), beautiful and NORMAL darn it. That could be their incredible resilience overcoming our mistakes, or it could be that parenting is a day to day thing fraught with mistakes and triumphs and in the end if no one is actually wielding explosives you must be doing something right.

Of course, I still think one of the worst moments in any parent's life is at the door of the hospital when you realize these idiots are going to let you walk out of there with the baby. They don't even check if you're holding it right side up! They just ask to see the car seat, hand you a cardboard box full of sample products (like one diaper and three wipes are going to last until you get home), and push you through the sliding glass door. In fact, they look at you funny if you try to leave without the kid. Anyone who survives that moment deserves a bit of slack. Even on the internet.