Good Advice

I am so lucky, yes lucky, lucky, lucky. I am apparently so incredibly desirable that large numbers of Russian women are simply clamoring to form a deeply loving and committed relationship with me (they assure me that they are very religious and also believe in families so it's not like they're toying with my affections here). I also have total strangers concerned about my health and well being so they give me advice on how to enhance, enliven and probably em-biggen all sorts of areas of my life - some of which I don't actually have.

And now, now a very intelligent and creative individual has shared with me a top-secret something that I'm sure is the answer to all my problems. I believe it's a financial tip although the prose is a little difficult in places:

H*u*g*e N-e w_s To Imp'act C Y'T*V
Chi+na Yo*uTV C*o*r*p*.
Symbo,l: C-Y,T V
We h.a'v-e a+lready s_e.e_n CYTV' s ma.rket imp act befo*re climbin- g to o,v,e-r $2'.00 w i_t*h n,e-w+s+.
P-ress Relea_se:
Chi_na YouT-V's CnB oo W-e'b S_i,t,e Ran_ks N*o+..1 on M+icro*soft L-i+v.e Sear.ch Eng'ine
C'nBoo Tr_affic I*n.creases 4_9,% O,v,e r T,w+o Month*s
R'e-a.d t*h'e news+, thin*k ab out t*h e imp-act, and
j.u_m p on t+h-i's firs+t thin.g Tom,or-row m ornin_g! $ -0.42 is a g*i+f.t at t,h i,s pri ce..._..
Do y-o'u'r h*omewo.rk a+n+d w+atch t_h-i*s t rade Monda y morning..

I have to admit, this is the sort of careful marketing that makes me want to leap out and invest everything I have.

I also have a strange urge to learn Esperanto, but I'm not sure if that's related.