Friday, April 21, 2006

Soldier, you WILL have morale

The Charley company captain (known as 'Skeletor') figured he'd cracked it. It wasn't that the entire battalion had morale issues - just the intel people. Look at Delta company, they had huge morale. They Oooh-Rah'd around the pt field like real soldiers. While his company had sounded okay from a distance, but close up you realised their Jody call went:

Thee-one thirty rollin' down the thtrip
Airborne ranger's gonna take a little twip!


Left, right, left-right your left YETH!!!

Now that was just wrong. And it was making the delta guys very uncomfortable.

Nope, the problem was no sense of unit pride. The deltas were the delta DAWGS and they had a mascot and special chants and everything. That's what Charley company needed.

He tasked the company with finding a company nickname, drafting a company crest, and (in a stroke of sheer genius) designing their very own company PT uniform. Over to you, guys.

The crest was fun. Rather than the traditional shield, they finally settled on a piece of toast. Then they put Hobbes on it - not just any Hobbes though, Hobbes from the strip where he and Calvin are being peanut-butter and jelly zombies.

It took a bit more to get consensus on the nickname. The delta dawgs called them 'the coneheads' but that was no fun. Ah yes, the Charley Company Growlers. Perfect, because it allowed for some really good work on the PT uniform. It should be pink probably, and on the upper left it should say 'Growlers!' in loopy, lavendar script. And there should definitely be a sumo-wrestler beneath it - squatting suggestively.

The next week Charley company was running PT in grey sweats with ARMY printed on the back in black sans-serif. Their input was not asked for again.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

This is getting funnier and funnier! And you know what, these are exactly the kind of thinkers I want protecting the US.

So clearly 'outside of the box' that I hope every one of them is still out there protecting us today.