Thursday, January 15, 2009

Subconscious

I've been having unusually vivid dreams lately, some of them are the variety where you know you're dreaming and if you concentrate just hard enough you can change things and do magic and stuff (only apparently I'm rather lazier than I was as a child because the past several times I've thought about it and decided I couldn't be bothered), some just regular dreamy dreams. I'm not sure what makes the difference between knowing you're dreaming and not. Sure, often it's a very convincing dream, the kind where it takes half the day to realize that whatever it was didn't really happen, but just as often there's something utterly bizarre going on and I still don't stop to question why 80's era Margaret Thatcher is serving up thick milkshakes at the new sandwich shop down the road.

To complicate things, I was sort of taught that sometimes dreams are very significant and might be Messages From A Higher Being (or deader being - could be long-gone relatives or friends) so attention must be paid. And then there's the line of thought that dreams are a window into the psyche and your brain is trying to tell you something or work something out.

So, last night included the following motifs:

1) chase sequence which normally is of the frustrating, running through treacle variety, but this time was rather fun with lots of Scooby-Dooish running in and out of doors and up and down stairs in what seemed to be a complicated office building. And I totally knew it was a dream but hey, it was sort of hilarious to be whizzing around and not being breathless.

2) bears. Black and brown, mamas with cubs which normally would be sort of the focus of the dream, but actually the real concern was that we were dog-sitting two sets of dogs and one set had escaped and were going to pick fights with a neighbor's nasty little yarping toupee. The bears were simply background color, sort of wandering in and out of yards and distracting the neighbor while I removed his slightly-chewed pet from the mouth of a greyhound.

3) Photoshop - having to help out a friend of my parents who was trying to do several incredibly complicated tasks on her ginormous (27" or so?) touch screen computer. She had no knowledge of Photoshop and what she needed to do was going to require masks and filters and multiple layers and all sorts of stuff which should have been frustrating but all I could think was DAMN that's a cool computer (if totally bulky and utterly useless since you had to stretch all over the place to do anything)

But what was really weird? Kirk was in every one. I haven't dreamed about him in months and months. I used to all the time, not nightmare type dreams, just sort of wistful. Then later they turned into these really difficult ones where he would just simply come home and there was no explanation and I couldn't remember why that didn't make sense and then, slowly, it would come back and I would have to wake up. Yeah brain, thanks for that because that was really good fun. So why was he there last night, the chaser in the first dream (although I didn't recognize that his being there was out of place which is a little odd now that I think about it), helping to wrangle dogs in the second, and sort of sitting around being admiring and helpful in the third?

Am I finally finding a place for him in life as it is now? Am I accepting things or moving on or doing any of those things that honestly you can't really do, and there's no good phrase for it so the cliches have to stand in instead?

Or is it just that I should definitely not play a video game for a while and then read a chapter or two of a biography of Franklin D. Roosevelt just before going to bed?

Stupid subconscious.

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

Dreams are tricky. They're so personal.

If you put the pieces together though: the chase (which is also trying to avoid something), a computer (working with masks & layers), and the pulling the toupee dog out of the greyhound's mouth, it sounds like there's something that you haven't put into words yet. Whatever it is, it's really obvious (bears).

Could be as simple as you're not writing enough (see: Allergy).

wheelsonthebus said...

i wish i had an answer for you.

Child 1 said...

i had a dream about him too last night. about him being home not coming home like he never left. and in my dream i was super happy but couldnt figure out why. also at like 130 am you got a call on you cell phone (i could hear the ringing) and i guess i connected that with him being home.

Earthenwitch said...

I get those sorts of dreams sometimes about my mother - she sort of inserts herself into my current house, for example, and suddenly appears sitting on the sofa talking to cats who weren't even born or thought of when she left this world. It's very strange, because often it doesn't seem strange AT ALL at the time, and it's only when I remember it that I realise how odd it is. I too had a period of nasty dreams where I think my brain was trying to ferment it all and come to some sort of conclusion, but all I can say is that brains, they works in funny ways, and I hope yours is just finding a way to put things in whatever place makes sense, for now.

Earthenwitch said...

I get those sorts of dreams sometimes about my mother - she sort of inserts herself into my current house, for example, and suddenly appears sitting on the sofa talking to cats who weren't even born or thought of when she left this world. It's very strange, because often it doesn't seem strange AT ALL at the time, and it's only when I remember it that I realise how odd it is. I too had a period of nasty dreams where I think my brain was trying to ferment it all and come to some sort of conclusion, but all I can say is that brains, they works in funny ways, and I hope yours is just finding a way to put things in whatever place makes sense, for now.

Anonymous said...

I hate it when you have dreams that make no sense, but feel like they should. Maybe give it time.