Friday, July 13, 2007

Second Hand Harry Potter Review

So, I took the Children to the Harry Potter movie yesterday, but that's all I did. I bought the tickets, drove to the theater (sorry, I save Theatre for ackshual plays what have people in 'em. At least when I remember I do), threw them enthusiastically out the door and waved buh-bye.

It's not that I have anything against Harry Potter - I like Harry Potter. I refuse to dislike it on the basis of popularity OR fantasy genre OR books-for-kids.

It's just that I have a few things I truly cannot bear in plots and while books have this really neat feature where you can skip on a few pages and Ta Dah! Icky bit over! Movies in theaters don't let you do that, and your Children might be a wee bit embarrassed if their mother sits through much of the movie with eyes squinched shut, finger jammed in ears saying "la la LA LA LA IS THAT PART OVER YET?"

One of my real problems is people making fools of themselves. I've never liked that. It makes me squirm for the poor saps - even if it's the bad guy I get all twisty and uncomfortable and I want to look away QUICKLY. That's why I hated Laverne and Shirley. Or I would have if we had watchable television in our house.

The thing that I really have trouble with though is any story line that depends on the hero being framed or falsely accused. I don't know why, it's just the way I am. Now, not to spoiler anyone who hasn't seen the movie or read the book, but let's just say there's a weency bit of that sort of thing in this film. So I sent my kids on ahead as scouts to see if all the good stuff was going to make the misery of the bad stuff worthwhile.

This is made more difficult because we have a family rule about Not Spoiling Movies For People Who Have Not Seen Them. So they honestly tried to give me the information I wanted without actually ruining the whole thing. Here's their report as far as I can translate:

"OMG! It was so cool with the... I mean, the dementors, they redesigned them (insert nerdy question from me on the art design and lighting) and there's this part where... no never mind. But then! They didn't have some of the stuff - oh, but they did have the part where, and I'd tell you about it, but I can't! Oh! And pink kittens, and Umbridge was like 'hem!' and that was.... but the end was really! And the rooms! With the... oh, and I liked the kiss."

So there you are. Three thumbs up and a resolution from me to wait until either the theater will be fairly deserted and I can hide under my seat in peace, or it comes out on DVD and I can take frequent bathroom breaks while the Children shriek "Wait Mom! This is the best part!"


Anonymous said...

If you see the new HP for just one reason, go for the kittens.

child2 said...

you madam, are a chicken. bawk bawk bawk!! and it would be hard to have one sigular finger in BOTH ears.

Anonymous said...

Aren't y'all excited about the new Harry Potter book? I think I pre-ordered mine way back in December.

For Kirk said...

Well... I could tell you that I believe one of the Children is right this very moment constructing a Death Eater mask...

Mijk said...

I really thought I was the only one on the planet doing this!!!