Monday, July 09, 2007

Instructions

Child 3 took its hard earned cash to Sharper Image and purchased one of these: Ripstik. It promptly demolished the packaging (leaving a hamster trail of shredded cardboard and bits of foam packing) in the back seat of the car and settled down to read the Instruction Manual.

The front cover says in large formidable letters: Read This Before Using This Product

Then there are about four inner pages which give the following instructions for enjoying this fine piece of recreational equipment.

DEATH or INJURY can result from NOT READING INSTRUCTIONS

INJURY or DEATH can result if you do not wear the following VERY IMPORTANT SAFETY GEAR: Helmet, elbow pads, knee pads, long sleeved shirt, long pants, well soled shoes in good condition.

DEATH or INJURY may result even if you do wear the VERY IMPORTANT SAFETY GEAR

INJURY or DEATH may result from replacing worn parts with UNOFFICIAL parts. USER must CALL US before using UNOFFICIAL parts.

PARENTS must READ and UNDERSTAND these instructions, and explain them to the child. These instructions should be REREAD every few months.

Oh, and you clean it with a damp cloth.

Child 3 has spent a happy three days Ripstiking around the neighborhood. Despite not wearing any of the VERY IMPORTANT SAFETY GEAR (except shoes - it is wearing shirt and shorts) it has not yet managed serious INJURY or DEATH.

I think its just not trying.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Is this still the blog of the extremely accident prone family whose motto is "I'M OK!!"

For Kirk said...

Why yes! Why do you ask... incidentally, Child 1 has conned Child 3 into teaching it to Ripstik so yesterday did indeed involve an awful lot of THUMPS followed by OH! and I'M OK! Child 3 kindly told it that maybe it would be better to practice in a very, very wide open space with no trees, patio furniture or houses around.

Child 1 said...

Hey I haven't even managed shoes yet. I can only use the stik when I am barefoot. So when I die 60 or 70 years from now, I'll know who to blame.

child2 said...

i have to admit, it's all VERY entertaining.