Saturday, August 30, 2008

Deflated

Alternate post title:

How I spent my labor day vacation

Exhibit A

Which is what greeted me on Friday evening as Child 2 and I were heading out to buy birthday presents for a party this weekend.

Which I responded to with dignity and calm and NO WHINING. Nope, was not angry at all at having to buy a set of new tires and spend Saturday morning waiting around while they're installed. No, I thought, no there is a silver lining to this GREAT HUGE NASTY BLACK CLOUD.

I can get a blog post out of it. With the kind assistance of the Male Child who insisted on changing the tire all on its own I present the fully illustrated guide to roadside maintenance: Changing A Tire.

Locate the spare. If you're very, very lucky this will be the second flat you have in as many weeks so your memory will be quite sharp and this step will be extremely easy.

Locate and remove the jack and using logistic genius place it carefully beneath the frame of the car.


Before elevating the car with the jack, remove the hub-cap and loosen the lug nuts. Before attempting this ensure you are well equipped with a wide selection of choice words.

The frog squat is essential.


So are the paint stained shorts.

Jack up the car until enough weight is off the wheel and it can be removed.




Examine flat tire for possible problems. Make rude comments about the unfairness of life.


Return flat to trunk of car so the new one can be installed after a mere two hours wandering around Costco. Realize that a pair of strong hands can lift an awful lot of things.


If they don't mind getting diry.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

Did anyone else have sympathy pebble pains seeing the frog squat photo? I don't have manly legs so I keep an old blanket in the car so I can kneel on it in the event of a flat tire.

emily said...

your son is extremely tall?! or possibly lanky.... and oh so handsome lo!

However, i shall bookmark this page in case of ever needing to change a tyre :)

For Kirk said...

anonymous - and you'll note there is no padding on the manly knees of the Male Child. None. There isn't a heck of a lot on my knees either and my knees are much older which is why I went ahead and let the Male Child do the frog squat. Taking pictures of the whole thing however was because I'm evil and exploitative!

emily - frighteningly I have gotten some Male Child fan email on this post. To the point that I will be posting later today simply for the Male Child Fan Club. Also I am thinking about renting it out as a manly tyre changer (tyre spelling just because it looks correct to me and because I do try to accommodate those who speak English).

Anonymous said...

You have really great taste on catch article titles, even when you are not interested in this topic you push to read it

Anonymous said...

You have tested it and writing form your personal experience or you find some information online?