Wednesday, August 30, 2006

Curiouser and Curiouser

Friend: You had a secure telephone line in your bedroom?

Me: Yup, at least for a while.

Friend: And you didn't ask why?

Me: Nope.

Friend:... sure you did.

Me: Nope.

Friend: I mean, you didn't come out and say 'Kirk, why do we have a huge ugly secure telephone in our bedroom,' but you asked anyway.

Me: Nope.

Friend: Hinted

Me: Nope.

Friend: Suggested.

Me: Nope

Friend: Oh come on!

Me: Honest! I double dog swear with cherries on. I never asked, never hinted, never suggested. Not once.

Friend: You have GOT to be kidding.

Me: He wouldn't have been able to tell me anyway, so what would be the point?

Friend: You're unbelievable.

Me: Gets worse.

Friend: ?

Me: One day he came home really super late and he said he had just gotten back from briefing the White House. They had flown him in by helicopter.

Friend: The White House White House?

Me: Yup, the one with the annual turkey reprieve and the friendly men with very large guns.

Friend: Don't tell me.

Me: Yup, never even asked. I have no idea why he went, what he briefed about, or who was there.

Friend: That's not natural. There would be smoke coming out of my ears.

Me: That's because you keep your head stuffed with brains and things. Mine is a splendid wasteland and therefore free from overheating.

Friend: Well, that explains a lot.


Anonymous said...

You never wanted to use the phone "by accident" to order a pizza just to see what would happen?

For Kirk said...

Dang! My law-abiding self is so ashamed. No, far far too chicken. Darn it. Wouldn't that have made a wonderful story?

'I'll take a large margharita pizza, cracker crust. And take us to def-con 4.'