I don't watch reality television.
I have no idea what celebrities are pretending to know how to dance and which hopefuls are being voted for on what talent show. I've only seen five minutes of Lost and I don't even have a subscription to HBO. I don't like baseball.
I compounded all of that by not realizing it was the Superbowl until the very day (twigged off by the bleary-eyed men in the grocery store buying cases of cheap and nasty beer). But worse, far worse, I didn't know the Oscars were on last night until I saw the news headlines when I checked my email this morning.
I will be turning in my trucker's cap and my novelty #1 foam hand at the door.